Paypal/Ebay are broken

I just spent more than an hour trying to buy a thing from Ebay. I'm really pissed off. In short words: Fuck you ebay.

So the story goes like that:

  • I found an item
  • I clicked "buy it now". So far, so good.
  • They want me to register on ebay. I don't want yet-another-password and yet-another-stupid-user-name. Why the hell do I need that for? I'm trying to buy a thing, not an insurance. Why do you need my date of birth? Why do you want my phone number (landline only! mobiles not accepted!)
  • We're not yet finished with the ebay account. I need to verify my account! By phone or by credit card number? Well, after 10th try I managed to give them some random fake telephone number, as I don't have landline. So I must give them my credit card number. Start counting, 1st time I entered my credit card details.
  • This went smoothly. Have I already bought the item? Not really, I need to click through some stupid confirmation process. Yes I do want to buy this item. Yes I do mean that. Yes, I still haven't changed my mind.
  • I almost thought it's done, how mistaken I was. Now I need to pay. Why am I able to buy thing without paying... but let's leave that question for now. 
  • Click, click, yes I want to pay. I entered my credit card number (second time). Why do they need my date of birth to pay? My bank is ignoring this information, so it's absolutely useless there. Why do I have to put telephone number? Fortunately number 02012345678 works fine. Yes, do request more information from me, I'm always able to be smarter than you and enter fake data. The entropy in your database will grow. My frustration will increase.
  • Ebay kindly informs me that the transaction was not accepted or something like that. Well, that shouldn't happen. Lets' try again.
  • Back button, entered credit card details for the 3rd time.
  • Payment is directed to Paypal, and it returns this nice 500 page: 
  • Checked emails. Once. Again. Nothing. Well, let's just try again.
  • "We advise that you don't use your browser's back button." Fair enough, I clicked through all the ebay page to get again to payment site.
  • Entered credit card details. 4th time. 
  • The same paypal error. At this point I became really pissed off.
  • Okay, few years ago I had paypal account, let's try to pay using that, instead of entering credit card details by hand.
  • I created account in previous century, so obviously I have no idea what is the password. Clicked on "forgotten password link". 
  • Click Click Click. I got email with link from them. Normally at this point recovering password story ends. But not in paypal!
  • "How do you want to verify your account?". What the heck. Okay, to proceed I had to remember two of my security questions or give them the credit card number I used few years ago with that account. Of course I have no idea what my answers to the questions were.
  • Next fifteen minutes I spent trying to find my old credit card, it should be somewhere...
  • I was surprised to see that it should be still working, maybe I could try to pay on ebay using this card.
  • Clicked through ebay again, to get to the payment site.
  • Entered my credit card number. 5th time, but this time different card. Guess what happened....

  • Okay, so I do need to get access to that paypal account.
  • I followed the paypal-reset-password link again. Chose credit-card verification, and entered my credit card information for the 6th time.
  • After that point I was able to actually pay for this ebay item using paypal. But I still was forced to enter my credit card expiry date and cvv number, so I count it as entering my credit card details for the 7th time.

Dear Ebay, I just wanted to buy a thing. I don't care about paypal or ebay accounts, and I already have forgotten passwords. I don't care if you have my addresses (every one of three I used), I feel silly when you ask me for the date of birth.  

One more thing, requiring me to give you my credit card details seven times doesn't increase my confidence in the security of your system.